


Weight

by vega_voices



Series: Sleeps with Butterflies [10]
Category: CSI, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 19:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vega_voices/pseuds/vega_voices
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Of course Gil was the logical choice for Jim’s power of attorney. He could be counted on to make the rational decision in the moment, to weigh everything with his mind that worked faster than most, to be able to rationalize his decisions. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weight

**Title:** Weight  
 **Series:** [Sleeps with Butterflies](http://vega-voices.livejournal.com/tag/sleeps%20with%20butterflies)  
 **Author:** vegawriters  
 **Fandom:** CSI  
 **Pairing:** Grissom/Sara  
 **Rating:** Teen  
 **Timeframe:** During _Way to Go_  
 **Disclaimer:** This is done for fun and character exploration. It does not make me any money and the CSI characters still belong to the powers that be.

 **Summary:** _Of course Gil was the logical choice for Jim’s power of attorney. He could be counted on to make the rational decision in the moment, to weigh everything with his mind that worked faster than most, to be able to rationalize his decisions._

She found him sitting alone in a corner of a distant waiting room, the weight of the decisions he’d been making visible in the set of his shoulders. He was leaning forward, elbows balanced on his knees, and she wondered what he’d been like that day so long ago, when the ER doctors had told him to wait, when he’d found out he arrived at the hospital minutes too late to be of any help to the woman who wore his ring or the child she carried. Had he sat in a corner like this one, hands clasped, head bowed, waiting for answers that hadn’t come?

With Jim it was different of course. They were friends, good friends, who trusted each other because they had no one else. Of course Gil was the logical choice for Jim’s power of attorney. He could be counted on to make the rational decision in the moment, to weigh everything with his mind that worked faster than most, to be able to rationalize his decisions. Gil’s logical, right-brained thinking allowed him to choose between potentially fatal decisions for his friend and then go to work and pick through evidence. The stress of Jim’s situation actually allowed him to work better, allowed his subconscious to work through the aspects of the case with a different clarity. It wasn’t that he enjoyed chaos, but in a situation like this, the normalcy of work allowed him to handle the messy possibility that his best friend might not make it through the night.

Too bad they’d solved the case. Now all he had was time to think. At least Jim had woken up, before he’d lost consciousness again.

Until last year, Gil’s mother had held his power of attorney. Now it was in Sara’s name, as hers was in his. In the end, he said, he didn’t want anyone but her making the hard decisions and since they were not yet married, this bit of paperwork had to be done. At any time they could step in front of a bullet, and neither of them wanted any legal questions in play while seconds ticked by. It was the first time in her life anyone had wanted that kind of connection to her and more so, the first time she’d wanted someone to have that kind of connection.

His head raised and across the room, her eyes met. She walked over on silent feet, her long legs crossing in front of each other. Instead of sitting next to him, she knelt, her fingers on his knees. “Are you okay?” She asked, repeating her earlier question to him in his office.

“I am,” he said softly. “I’m just …” he paused and she waited. “I’m exhausted.” He reached out and brushed her hair from her face. “What I am thinking about is you.”

“Me?”

“God help me if I ever have to make these decisions for you, Sara.”

“I thought that was the point of a relationship like ours.”

They looked at each other for a long time in a silent acknowledgement of the permanence of their situation. This wasn’t a fly by night affair. They had a future together, one that involved more than stolen moments away from prying eyes. “It is,” he said softly. “But I still don’t know if I … how I could choose the way that you die.”

“Hopefully, neither of us will have to be in this position any time soon.” She took one hand of his in her own and raised his fingers to her lips. “Come on. The gaggle is starting to gather and they’re asking for you.” She smiled. “We can continue this later, when I can finally get you to lie down for a few minutes.” He nodded and she stood up, leaning in for a kiss he was more than happy to give. In that moment, if anyone came to see them, she wouldn’t care. Eventually, they’d be discovered. Eventually, this affair would change everything. But right now, what they had worked. They broke apart, his hands still on her waist, and he pulled her in for a long hug that ended when she kissed his neck and stepped back. “Come on. They’re going to come looking.”

“Yeah.” They settled into stride together, walking in comfortable silence back to Jim’s room. As they approached the team, Sara took half a step away, just to keep a companionable distance. As much as she had come to terms with the reality that it wouldn’t be long before people knew, she also didn’t want to have the big reveal come here, while Jim was fighting for his life. Greg handed her a cup of coffee.

“Where’s Ellie?” She heard Gil ask Warrick.

“Outside. Smoking.”

Sara needed a cigarette, but let it be. Gil kept asking her to quit anyway. Instead she leaned against a column outside of Jim’s room and stared through the glass at the detective. She didn’t understand Ellie, didn’t understand how the girl couldn’t just accept what her father was trying to give. For as bad as it had been with her own father, if he showed up, whole again, and asked for forgiveness, she was more likely to give it to him than her mother.

Greg was behind her, talking to Catherine, and she could hear Doc walking down the hall, his cane clicking slightly. The doctor was talking to Gil now and she watched the interaction before the man in scrubs led him away, into the room. Jim was awake. Jim was going to be okay. She started to breathe again, just now realizing how much the detective meant to her. She was glad Gil was the one who had to make the decisions. Someone had to be trusted and Ellie was outside, wallowing in her self-pity, worried about herself.

Inside the room, she saw Jim’s eyes flutter with recognition. They’d removed the breathing tube and he was licking his lips. Gil handed him some water and then stepped back and on cue, like an episode from some fifties family comedy, they all waved. And then Warrick was hugging her and she realized for the first time the family she was a part of. All of them. And she understood the weight on Gil’s shoulders.


End file.
